Review: Tantus Ryder, the world’s comfiest butt plug

I love the Ryder.  I’ve had mine for years and really love how comfortable it is.  It stays in really nicely, and a comfy shape, and is squishy enough that it’s great for double-penetration.  I recently bought a new one from Tantus because they have improved the design of the plug!  Take a look:


left: new design. right: old design.

The new plug (pink) is on the left, old design (purple) is on the right.  Don’t be confused by the color- the new version is available in both purple and black!  Mine is pink because I got it from the grab bag section.  What we’re looking at here is the difference in the base.  The old version had a very comfortable squishy base, but it was almost too squishy- I had one play session in which a partner’s enthusiastic bum sucked the base right up inside!  The new base is thicker and much sturdier. Tantus is only selling the new model, but if you’re buying off-site you should make sure you’re getting the thicker based one.


Old base bad.


New base good!

Should you ever find yourself with a foreign body up your tush, stay calm and gently bear down (or push as if you were trying to poop.)  In my case it only took a few seconds to get it back out, so think positive!  Otherwise go to the hospital.  They’ve seen worse.


excuse me, doctor, I’ve got something in my teeth.

The Ryder is smooth and slightly squishy.  It’s on the medium-large side  (diameter 1.5″, length 4.6″)  It’s got a nice tapered neck which makes it super comfy to slide in and out.  It gives a gentle but present feeling of fullness.  It feels so nice that I was inspired to try out the off-label use of putting it inside my pussy.  I left it there while doing some household chores and then later while giving a blowjob and it felt AWESOME.  It gives your kegels something to squeeze against and just feels nice and full.  The thought crossed my mind just now to use two at once- one vaginally and one anally.  Am I flying too close to the sun??  Time will tell.

You can get your own Ryder at Tantus for $38.44!  As always, they use awesomely body-safe silicone that is easy to clean.  I tend to boil mine.  Good silicone ain’t cheap, but Tantus has a fabulous grab bag section where you can get this same amazing plug for $17.99.

Five out of five stars, for sure.  This is one of my favorites.  Give it a try!

Butt plugs forever.



Review: Butterfly Bliss

Introducing: The Butterfly Bliss!


I’ve seen this vibe before and it was never really one that appealed to me much.  As a lady who enjoys the feeling of fullness, the thumb-sized knob of the butterfly bliss never called to me.  Furthermore, it’s been years since I’ve used a battery-powered vibe.  I tend to go for the convenience and green-ness of rechargeables.  That being said, as a sex toy reviewing veteran returning to the scene, I’ve realized I’ve been in a sex toy rut and am ready to give things a new go.  Bodies and pleasure change, and it’s always good to circle back every few years to revisit sensations!

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised!  Andy, my friendly Good Vibes affiliate contact, sent me over this vibe and a Pirouette (review to come) along with a little personalized note and some lubes, because he is adorable.  Here it is with the dino, for scale:Image

Stats-wise, this is a silicone vibrator powered by 2 AAA batteries.  It’s waterproof and phthalate free and has an insertable tip of 2 3/4″ by 1 1/8″ (aka, Not Enough For Kate’s Cavernous Vagina.)  Different vaginas like different things.  Mine is all about HEAVY g-spot action, cervix nuzzling, and stretching.  This is not a toy for that kind of thing.  The bulb on the insertable part of this toy does give a nice gentle fullness in the sensitive lower part of the vagina, but I found myself mashing it into me to try to get the fullness 2 fingers would provide.

The wings and antennae are intended to tickle and buzz against the clitoris.  For me, they did a little- but the buzzy vibrations numbed me pretty quickly and I had better luck grinding my clit against the textured body part of the butterfly.



I experimented with different motions- rocking, swirling, pumping- and found a rocking motion worked best for me.  The vibrations were stronger than I expected.  Unfortunately, they were not enough to get me off completely.  To be fair, I’ve been using a hitachi a lot lately!  However, the squishiness of the silicone (which, BTW, is body-friendly and awesome) enabled me to maneuver things around and use another vibe on my clit without pinching my skin, which was good.  I also liked the one-touch power supply- which cycles through 3 levels of power at the touch of a button.




This toy is not the noisiest, but it does make some noise.  I tend to vibe out (!) under the covers and once my nighttime noise machine is on, and this was not audible over that.

This would be a really good beginner vibe for someone.  It’s versatile- it can be used for penetration or clit stim or both.  It’s very reasonably priced at $28, which is pretty great for a silicone toy.  It’s body-safe, which is a great way to start off on the right foot!  It’s quiet enough, and also waterproof for added noise protection (showergasms!) for those living with roommates or parents.  Also it’s not huge, and it’s cute.

My one major beef with this vibe is that the ridges and highly textured surface make it obnoxious to clean.  My typical toy-cleaning routine is 2-fold- a quick wipe-down right away with a baby wipe, and then more thorough cleaning after the afterglow has faded with toy cleaner.  This butterfly’s ridges and wings and crevices require a LOT of attention.  Like, scrubbing with a toothbrush.




And I am too lazy for that.

3 out of 5 stars.

You can pick up one of your own at Goodvibes!  This vibrator was provided to me by Good Vibrations in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.  Good Vibrations, as you know, is a fabulous, woman-friendly sex toy store invented by vibrator fairy godmothers in 1977 that provides good quality, body-safe toys, all-body sex education, and general badassery.  I choose to review for them because I believe in their mission.


So You Want to Experiment with Sensations: Pain, Pleasure, and Everything In Between

Sensation play is great.  By adding and removing sensation, you can heighten your awareness and perception.  Sensation play can be a great way to connect with a partner too!  It can be a sexy, romantic way play with trust, patience, power play, and limit-pushing.  And don’t worry- it’s not all 50 Shades of Grey!  (FWIW- I think that book is atrocious.)

Not all sensation play is painful- at all.  Some people like light, gentle touches- like silky fabrics or fur.  Some like light stings, or things that have a worse bark than their bite.  There are LOTS of toys in this category!  And some people really like a nice good sting, thud, or pull.  There’s certainly a lot for that too!  With all body play, there are varying levels of risk.  I’d be an irresponsible sex blogger if I sent you out to try more intense body stuff without making sure you’re doing it safely, so promise me you’ll use your noggins.  Sterilize if there’s broken skin or blood.  Before you try anything that puts strain on breath or circulation make sure you read SM 101 or another comprehensive guide like it.
You know this, but just to refresh- for any kind of potentially physically or emotionally vulnerable play, establish a safeword beforehand.  A good, universally known system is “Yellow” for “slow this down, I’m getting near my limit” and “Red” for “stop right now.”  A good nonverbal safeword (if you’re unable to speak, e.g. with a gag) is to have something noisy to drop to the floor like keys or a mumble pattern- like an “UH-uh!” that the dominant partner will be looking out for.  Safewording is not a sign of weakness.  Rather, it is a sign that you’re in touch with your own body and psyche and are invested in having a positive experience together.  Help your top help you, and safeword as needed.

On to the fun stuff!

A great way to start with sensation play is with a blindfold.  It’s low-risk, comfortable, and easily removable.  This one is cute, comfy, and inexpensive:
A blindfold heightens your senses and builds anticipation in a way that many find erotic.  A light touch of a fingertip down the arm becomes amplified and extra ticklish.  The warmth of a partner’s body becomes more perceptible.  The slap of a crop becomes unpredictable.  This is the first toy I recommend to any friend looking to add a little pizzazz to their relationship- above any vibrators or oils or dildos.  A blindfold can do wonders.  Highly recommend.

Next up:

The Tantra Feather Teaser by LELO.

LELO is a fabulous company that makes some really great, high quality toys.  This feather toy is little- about the size of your hand- and comes in a really pretty, gift-worthy box.  (It’s also nice for storage!)  This teaser feels just lovely, especially when paired with the blindfold above.  You can also flip it over and use the cold metal ball on the other end of the handle for cool smooth contrast.  These teasers are nonthreatening and flirty.  They’re obviously not sterilizable so if you’re intending to share it between partners, steer clear of any bodily fluids.

Also from LELO is the Sensua Suede whip.

If you want to be adorable, this whip and the feather teaser make a really attractive pair.  This whip is small too- 14″ in total.  As a relatively inexperienced whip-wielder, I find it takes some pretty focused effort to get much more than a light sting out of this toy.  It’s nice on breasts, bums, and backs.  It feels fantastic slowly dragged across a nipple.  This is a great toy for someone who is new to impact play, as I think of it as one of those toys whose bark is worse that its bite.  If you want it badly enough and get in some practice, though, you can get some sting out of this one.
This next toy is a really great example of how you can use psychology to your advantage with sensation play.  This Pinwheel BDSM toy looks like a terrifying medical device.
And it is!  This tool is something doctors use to test nerve reception.  Scary as fuck, right?  We can work with that.  See, this toy only hurts as much as you want it to.  Depending on the angle of the toy, the body part, and the pressure of your hand, this little lovely thing can be anything from a light pokey tickle to a sharp sting that leaves a little pink dotted line on your skin.  It’s sterilizable too, which is nice and important as this is a scratchy/pokey toy.  I don’t know if they all do this, but my Pinwheel toy has this delightful ominous squeak when used.  I love watching a toppy partner bring this slowly to my skin, not knowing if they’ll choose to be nice or mean with it.
Getting into some more serious sensation, may I introduce the Butterfly nipple clamps:
There are gentler nipple clamps on the market for sure.  These are, in fact, some of the most painful ones I’ve ever tried- and I love them.  Butterfly clamps (sometimes called Clover clamps) have this neat mechanism wherein they tighten when pulled.  These are pretty intensely tight anyway, so when the chain connecting them gets pulled, you’ll feel a pretty intense shock of pain.  There is no way these are getting pulled off.  Personally, I LOVE nipple pain.  I’m very sensitive in some other places- like backrubs, for example.  I never imagined I would like play like this, but I tried it and found it really heightened my pleasure.  Try to keep an open mind when you’re trying new sensation play.  You might be surprised by what your body responds to!

Last but not least, one of my very favorite toys:  the Under The Bed Restraint System.

1-8-EL-0601 (1)
Being tied up is a really fun way to do sensation play.  You’re basically forced to stay still and trust your partner with your body.  It can be very intimate, and very lovely!  It can also bring up some unexpected emotional reactions, so communicate if you need anything- a drink of water, a break from a position, a check-in snuggle.  This thing is basically shaped like a capital H and goes under your mattress so that you can be strapped up with arms and legs.  It’s super simple to install (have a friend help place it while you hold the mattress up!) and tucks away discreetly between uses.  The straps are easily adjusted and the cuffs are comfy.  I did have an experience wherein I broke one of the split rings on the leg cuffs (sexy tickling when tied up = strong leg contractions!) but was able to replace it with a sturdier one from a hardware store for less than a dollar.
All for now!  All of these toys are available at your friendly (internet/)neighborhood Good Vibrations store for purchase!  Good luck, be good, and have fun!